SEVERUS SNAPE AND THE ONLINE HOGWARTS TEACHERS' LOUNGE

Snape sat down in front of his faithful tangerine iMac with a mug of cocoa. He had just spent sixteen consecutive hours wiring the castle up for an internal network and was now testing out the interoffice chat option. No one knows why he wanted this installed or what good it would do for the school. Somewhere along the line, Dumbledore had turned to Lupin and said, "Dude...you're gettin' a Dell." And it all went downhill from there.

Snape logged into his account and called up the program.

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Run: login_chat.exe

Login name: $N4P3_RU13$

Password: SherbertLemon

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_**You are now signed into the Hogwarts Staff Online Lounge.**

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MacGonagrrl: LOL! No way.

Dmbledork: yeah I saw it on the west wing last night it ruled

$N4P3_RU13$: hey wat's goin on

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** M41F0Y_0wnZ_j00 has just entered the room.**

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M41F0Y_0wnZ_j00: HEY DOOD

Lupin_the_3rd: You're not allowed in here, Malfoy. This is for teachers only. >:P

~UmBritch++~: AHH LOLOLOLL OMG HEYA MALFOY! ((((((((((((hugzzz)))))))))))))

MacGonagrrl: Dolores, don't go overboard or anything. *rolls eyes*

$N4P3_RU13$: d00d Lupin, your not the boss of lucius

~Umbritch++~: OMG HI HI HI MALFOY [[[[[[hugglez!!]]]]]

Dmbledork: Malfoy I think you want

Dmbledork: the chat room

Dmbledork: down

Dmbledork: the

Dmbledork: hall

Dmbledork: for Death Eaters

MacGonagrrl: Knock it off Albus

Lupin_the_3rd: Yes I am the boss, I'm the moderator here, Severus.

Dmbledork: make me, Minerva.

~Umbritch++~: OMG OMG WTF my screen just totally blinked like EIGHT TIMES

Dmbledork: So Ha

Dmbledork: Ha

Dmbledork: Ha ha.

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**LockHEARTTHROB has just entered the room**

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Lupin_the_3rd: Welcome to the room, LockHEARTTHROB.

MacGonagrrl: Ew.

Dmbledork: Ha.

~Umbritch++~: OMG HI HI Lockhart!! ((((GLOMPS))))

LockHEARTTHROB: Hi ~Umbritch++~! A/S/L?

Dmbledork: Didn't I fire you or something lockhart?/

M41F0Y_0WNZ_j00: You can't kick me out Lupin Im signed in as a guest SO THERE

>:P**

LockHEARTTHROB: Hi Dmbledork! A/S/L?

~Umbritch++~: OMG ROLFLMAO LOLLOLOL Lockhart your so funny!!!!!!!!!!!

Lupin_the_3rd: I can still kick you out of the room, Lucius.

$N4P3_RU13$: give it a rest lupin GOD

Macgonagrrl: So what were you saying bout the new quidditch lineup albus

LockHEARTTHROB: Hi MacGonagrrl! A/S/L?

$N4P3_RU13$: Lockhart shut up

M41F0Y_0WNZ_j00: So go ahead and try it Lupin I dare you, loser

LockHEARTTHROB: Hi $N4P3_RU13$! A/S/L?

Lupin_the_3rd: Maybe I will!

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**SeriousBlack has just entered the room.**

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Lupin_the_3rd: Hi Sirius!

LockHEARTTHROB: Hi SeriousBlack! A/S/L?

Lupin_the_3rd: SHUT UP, GILDEROY!

SeriousBlack: Hi Remus

Dmbledork: I was saying I think we should nix quidditch this year

M41F0Y_0WNZ_j00: D00D HE"S SO NOT A TEACHER EITHER NO FAIR

MacGonagrrl: WHAT? WTF are you talking about???

Lupin_the_3rd: I'M THE MODERATOR AND I SAY HE STAYS, LUCIUS.

Dmbledork: Well I wuz thinkin cuz I got this new set of kick@ss devilsticks we could

Lupin_the_3rd: SO HA

Dmbledork: teach the kids to play

Lupin_the_3rd: HA

Dmbledork: with devilsticks instead

Lupin_the_3rd: HA.

Dmbledork: cuz they rule.

MacGonagrrl: Stop that Albus

Dmbledork: make me.

SeriousBlack: Remus I cant find my blue sweater, you seen it? It has the cable knit on it?

~Umbritch++~: OMG OMG I have a blue sweater JUST LIKE THAT LOLLOL!!

M41F0Y_0WNZ_j00: OH SO SIRIUS BLACKHEAD GETS TO USE THE

TEACHERZ ROOM FOR SWEATER LOCATION BUT ****I*** CAN"T BE IN

HERE???

MacGonagrrl: I think that's a stupid idea, Albus

LockHEARTTHROB: Somebody talk to me pleeeeeeeeez

Dmbledork: last time I checked it was my school not yours, minerva >:P

Lupin_the_3rd: I haven't seen your sweater, Sirius.

LockHEARTTHROBZ: PLLEEEEEEEZZ

$N4P3_RU13$: have you checked in your own bedroom, lupin?

MacGonagrrl: youre an idiot and your school is stupid

Lupin_the_3rd: What's THAT supposed to mean, Severus?

SeriousBlack: Shut up Severus

M41F0Y_0WNZ_j00: THIS IS SUCH BULLSH@T I'm GOIN TO THE DEATH

EATERS ROOM SEE YOU LOSERS LATER

$N4P3_RU13$: you know what it means.

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** M41F0Y_0WNZ_j00 has left the room.**

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Dmbledork: You don't have to work here if you don't like it, minerva

Lupin_the_3rd: Thank goodness he finally left.

Dmbledork: You can go back

Dmbledork: to the circus

$N4P3_RU13$: I knw you 2 are shaggin on the side its so obvious GOD

Dmbledork: and walk the tightrope

Dmbledork: for a living

MacGonagrrl: STOP THAT!

Dmbledork: make me

Lupin_the_3rd: That's not true and you know it, Severus. Don't spread lies.

LockHEARTTHROB: Any 17/F here??? A/S/L??

SeriousBlack: {Private message to Lupin_the_3rd}

~Umbritch++~: OMG Sirius how'd you do that? LOOLOLLL I can't figger that

out! :D***

SeriousBlack: {Private message to Lupin_the_3rd}

Dmbledork: and your just jealous cuz you cant use them

Lupin_the_3rd: {Private message to SeriousBlack}

$N4P3_RU13$: Whats so private, Black? Like I totally cant guess *roooolls eyes*

SeriousBlack: {Private message to Lupin_the_3rd}

Lupin_the_3rd: {Private message to SeriousBlack}

MacGonagrrl: I KNOW how to use devilsitcks albus I just don't care. They're gay and

stupid.

LockHEARTHHROB: anyone A/S/L??

SeriousBlack: {Private message to Lupin_the_3rd}

$N4P3_RU13$: You guys are so gross, I totally know what your talking about so what

the point of using PMs/

Dmbledork: well then prove it

Lupin_the_3rd: {Private message to SeriousBlack}

Dmbledork: you big

SeriousBlack: {Private message to Lupin_the_3rd}

Dmbledork: overgrown

Lupin_the_3rd: {Private message to SeriousBlack}

Dmbledork: harpy

SeriousBlack: mmmmmm that's right, baby.

MacGonagrrl: SHUT UP, ALBUS!

SeriousBlack: oops

Dmbledork: make me

MacGonagrrl: What?

Lupin_the_3rd: Sirius don't keep resetting your comments to public mode!!!

~Umbritch++~: ROFL!!!

$N4P3_RU13$: I KNEW IT!!

LockHEARTTHROB: A/S/L??

[END]